October 22, 2009 Andrew in the back of a taxi with his sister and his RA friend Zach, on their way to join us at the Windflower Ball at the Tribeca Roof top - The SIDS fundraiser that I founded and that he chaired with his sister and younger brother

My beautiful 20-year-old son died this morning.  HE WAS A STUDENT AT nyu.

I write this because writing feels like the only thing I can do right now to stay alive.

I will write more and dedicate my book to him.  My wonderful beloved son.


  1. Sweetie, I am so sorry to hear this! Please know you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers for as long as you need them.

  2. I am so sorry for your loss. I truly know what you are going through. I lost my 28 year old daughter to an auto accident in June, 2008. I am still grieving.
    Abraham’s teachings on death will be a great comfort to you. It was me, and still is. If you need to talk with someone who has been through it, please email me My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    thank you I WILL GET N TOUCH NOW I am going to try writing to him

  3. I transferred to NYU at the same time as Andrew and I wanted to let you know that he touched my life more than he will ever know. Strangely, New York can be the most lonely of places and knowing Andrew helped me adjust. I too felt overwhelmed by the city and when he asked me to get coffee I felt like the daunting task of adjusting might not be so impossible after all. He was the first person that I considered a friend at NYU and I feel honored to have met him. Your son was one of the most kind, friendly, passionate individuals that I have ever met and he truly made an impact on this world.

    • Thank you so much for your message, I am SO glad you met Andrew and appreciated him for the true knight that he was
      Big hug from Andrew’s mummy

  4. I was studying in the library when President Sexton’s letter arrived in my e-mailbox informing us of Andrew. My heart broke for him and his family. Out of respect, I stopped what I was doing and left the library. How could I go on “business as usual”? It was not a usual day. My prayers will continue for all of you.

    • Each day gets more difficult at the moment. My family and I are grateful for all the prayers and support. Thank you so much.

      • Dear Friend,
        Please know that there are many people whose hearts go out to yours in your sorrow. Do not let death absorb you, but celebrate the life you both had together and speak of the joy in sharing yourselves in the time you spent together on earth. May each day be less painful, and each new day be blessed with new meaning and special purpose.

        (please visit my blog of inspirational twitterings.) Perhaps one or two of my written thoughts may inspire you and help with giving meaning in your life~

        With Love,
        Cheryl aka Muffyjo

      • Thank you for getting in touch Cheryl. So many things are but the other side of the same coin. I respect all, I am alive, I feel all.

  5. I am profoundly sorry for your loss. My 21 year old son Brandon was murdered 1\17 I was told of this link by a friend who has been writing you. Her name is Debbie. Unless you have experienced a loss such as this you really cannot understand and one does not want anyone else to understand. Does that make sense? The loss of a child is a pain that their is no cure for and no relief from. During the trial we had to endure I only knew what day it was from the pill organizer I had my vitamins etc in. For us, to know our son suffered at the hands of another and we were not there was the hardest besides just missing him every minute of every day. For you the unanswered questions have to be the hardest. A grade school friend who was very supportive of me, lost her son to suicide 11 months to the day of Brandon’s death. Same age. She wrote to me and said and I will never forget ” who would have thought we would have this to share”. I will think of you family during this holiday season. The holidays are such a hard time for us. To not have him here during a time he loved so much. Brandon hoped to be an Orange County CA Sheriff and was in school and worked in constuction and to supliment his income was a bouncer at night in a local sports bar and early New Year’s day 2007 to make a long story short helped difuse a fight to protect the patrons and the man (if you can call him that) had a knife and cut Brandon in the neck. In essence my son died in a handicapped parking space in front of a Dairy Queen from loss of blood. The middle of the night phone call is also something a parent has nightmares about and we will never forget.
    Please know we are thinking of you.

    • Dearest mother of an Angel, thank you for reaching out to me, when you yourself have so much pain. There is a say in Southern Italy, that roughly translated means:
      only those who are hungry can understand what hunger is. It makes me think of people like us, but then, thank God that not everyone is where we are, no one would be able to support anyone.
      Still, not meaning to be nasty or anything, but on this one I would be happy to be the one who prays for someone else, and I’d be like the rock of Gibraltar for them.
      You are safe in my heart, as I know I am in yours.
      Love from Esmeralda – Andrew’s Mummy

  6. I too am sorry for your loss. Our 41 year old son died OCtober 17th in Buenos Aires Agentina, after jumping from the 5th floor of a hotel. He had been home with us in Portland for almost a month, leaving me with many happy memories of walks, talks, cooking and little gentle reminders of his presence. leaving me vitamins, an ipod with my favorite musico have headaches. He had begun to have headaches and dizziness, hearing voices but said he would not go to a doctor. Finally his cremains will be sent home next week after much legal ranglings. Imiss him so much. I would like your email to send you the memorialour

  7. Please send me your email, My son committed suicide on Oct. 17th by jumping from the 5th floor of a hotelin Buenor Aires. He had been home for a 3 1/2 week visit. He traveled all over the world but started having headaches, dizzy spells and hearing voices. He left me with beautiful memories and thoughtful gifts: an ipod with my favorite music, vitamins, my favorite foods, personal effects. Our memorial inclued several parts that may be helpful to you. Our Catholic priest was a gift. My son Paul had friends all over the world, was generous and caring. He is one of 10 children and 18 grand children. I too want to make sense of his death but know that I must live a life FOR others as he would expect me to, I will pray for you along with all parents wo lose children to illness, the war, mental illness, etc. God Bless You.

    • I am so sorry to hear off your loss too. As I open up with this dialogue, I find that suicide is a really big thing. It is the 3rd leading cause of death amongst adolescents, not to mention the number of adults. You can find my email at the bottom of the About page.
      I’ve heard from so many of “us” let’s go, we’ve got work to do. The sun will not set on children names, they are going to walk the walk and do the work side by side with us.
      Andrew’s Mummy

  8. Esmeralda/Hugh – this morning I opened my email to receive an email from an old English friend who worked with Hugh and myself at the SPT back in the day. his email however was far from cheery and brought me the news of Andrew. To say that I am rocked to my very core would be an understatement and I have spent the last 45 minutes in shock…and reading your posts and the assorted articles and links. they say that `if parents pass away, we bury them on mountain and if children die, parents bury them in their heart`….I’m not sure that anyone’s heart is big enough to absorb what you two have had to handle in this life…but I know you will try. I am grieving for you and with you, and my heart is aching with your pain. love, jonathan

    • Dear Jonathan, thank you for leaving a comment on your blog. And yes, we can imagine your shock. And yes, we feel we have been slaughtered inside.
      But life. alas goes on. The four of us that are left, need each other more than ever, and we have no choice but to keep going. Esmeralda & Hugh

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