It has been an hour past the same hour yesterday. I was relieved that the phone didn’t ring. If only turning the clocks back was as simple as that stupid piece I wrote the other day and thought that is was funny.
I always thought that there was nothing that love could not touch, I thought that this continuous jet of love that I felt for you was alive in your heart.
But, if I think that you are well and at peace, that you are not afraid, that you are not sorry for what you did, then I can hang in there until my own time comes.
What haunts me is trying to understand how you felt, was it really thought through? And what if you wanted to change your mind but it was too late? Oh baby, you know I would have caught you, like the midwife caught you when you were born in such a hurry. I had faith and hopes for you. But don’t want to fret over us now, we don’t want you to feel bad, mummy and daddy want you to be well, rest, we can sort it all out in time. And we re looking after your sister and brother. Oh Andrew if you saw how many people have come to the house and all the messages they’ve left for you, Will got on a plane from Texas as soon as he heard. You’d probably be shocked. And the house is full, Nancy brought 2 roast chickens and I was thinking that I SHOULD LEAVE ONE IN THE freezer for you, but then…
Anyway, don’t worry, I’ll keep writing I won’t just leave you there by yourself.
Ciao Tigger, call you later ok?