To my darling Tigger,
What can I say? You have left me completely heartbroken. I miss you more than I think you could even have imagined. I am working through anger and pain each and every moment I take a breath. You were my partner in life… every single memory I have on this earth, you were around for… even if not with me, not far from me.
I remember going down to the Thames in Twickenham to feed the ducks with Mummy and Daddy. I remember walking into Queen Mary’s hospital with you when the twins were born. I remember when you went looking in all the cupboards to try and find Alexander when he left us. You will be with him now, please let him look after you.
I remember arriving in New York with our seventeen suitcases, and Topy, feeling overwhelmed, but excited, but again, with you at my side. I remember building our special fort with the Spitzer-Williams’ in between our two houses. I remember walking up and down Halfmoon lane twirling multi-colored umbrellas to try and attract customers to our little toy stand outside the house. It didn’t work, but what a great memory. I remember when you gave me Silky for Christmas, she is not as silky now, but still carries your presence and I will keep her with me always.
I remember when we went to Agrigento with Nouf and Bernard. It was so cold at night sleeping under the stars and I didn’t really want to cuddle with Nouf or Bernard, so I used the one sheet we had to cover you and me and held you close all night to try and keep you warm. I remember on your 13th birthday running around with Daddy to get you all the things you needed to become a ‘man,’ shaving cream, a razor, deodorant, yes even a copy of Penthouse (that was Daddy’s suggestion).
I remember coming down with Daddy and Robs to visit you at Drexel and having tea in the lounge on your floor looking out over Philly. I remember running out of the office ecstatic when you called me to tell me you had been accepted into NYU.
I remember walking down 2nd avenue with you just last week, trying to figure out where to go for dinner, when all of a sudden you said to me, ‘Nanny, d’ya fancy a curry?’ We discussed the incredible ability of the British to diminish centuries of history of a civilization into a short sentence. And then we giggled about it all the way to Gandhi on 6th street. I remember sitting at my office in Alumni Hall and seeing you pop up at my window with some nocciola ice cream for me to come out and try.
I remember meeting you in the middle of the street on Monday at 5pm giving you a big hug and being spun around (in the middle of the street) by you. We went to Sundaes and Cones, obviously ordered nocciola (hazelnut) ice cream, but you insisted that I try the corn flavor, to check if Daddy (who is obsessed with corn) would like it. The corn was good, as was the nocciola, but my favorite part was just sitting next to you, being with my Tigger. You gave me a hug good-bye and told me you loved me as you left.
I love you too Andrew and I promise to you that I will work through the anger and pain to come to a complete peace with you. Stay by my side Tigger, as I did for you while you were on this beautiful earth.
I’d like to close by thanking each and every person who has come to support me and my family during the past 6 harrowing days. Your love has literally been our strength and we are eternally grateful for it.