Thank you JN for an article like this. I understand the pressure that the print media is under, but if they are to do things like this a few times a week…someone like me, who used to be a subscriber, would do so again.
In any event, I hope Andrew’s family finds peace…and I hope they gain some solace from knowing that what they are sharing now is a wonderful way to bring forth good from the ashes of what has transpired. God bless them.
12/6/2009 4:58:49 PM
It seems that people are not grasping what makes a person turn to suicide; despite good friends and family a person who makes the ultimate decision to end their life feels no spiritual or emotional connection with anyone. The fact that he did not open up to anyone shows this. People comment on how they don’t think about the “ones” who are left behind when reality is that they don’t matter simply because they will never feel as bad as they do now….
12/6/2009 4:44:16 PM
The problem with so many people who contemplate suicide — particularly teenagers and young adults — is that, on some level, they think that killing themselves is like calling in sick to one’s job or school, that they just won’t have to get up in the morning.
I hate to point to “Star Trek” as some kind of cultural touchstone (to use a dreaded cliche), but in one episode Captain Kirk sternly tells a young man that “there are a million things in this universe you can have, and a million things you can’t.” Well, pop culture or not, truer words were never spoken, and parents have to start teaching this simple truth to their children at an early age if they want those kids to grow up literally, as well as figuratively.
Apparently not having learned this most basic of lessons, Andrew took the path of least resistance, with little concern for those who’d be hurt by it, from his parents to the cleaning crew who’d have to swab his blood off the floor of the Bobst Library atrium. Sad.
12/6/2009 3:35:54 PM
Recommend(1) MY COMMENT TO THE SELF STYLED sageonhudson (ANDREW’S MUMMY SPEAKING HERE), IS THAT YOU KNOW PRECIOUS LITTLE ABOUT LIFE AND I HOPE YOU’LL FIND MORE THAN STAR TREK TO FILL AND GUIDE YOUR LIFE. ASSHOLE!
There are so many sensitive, caring posts here re. this tragedy. Andrew’s loss is just that, a loss, and his family will feel that loss forever. Hopefully with time, they will be able to temper that loss with some of the happier memories of Andrew. My condolences to the Esmeralda family.
12/6/2009 2:32:42 PM
The worst thing about this kind/degree of depression is that the individual may not recognize that it’s worse than s/he thinks. It comes on insidiously, and with younger people, may initially masquerade as boredom/emptiness. The worse one feels, the less one wants to talk about it. The shame of feeling “weak,” like the whole world is gray and will never have color in it again, isn’t recognized as a neurochemical imbalance. Hopelessness gets snared in a feeling of helplessness. The biggest effort is acting ‘normal’ or finding places where the sense of despair and a fascination with endings seems acceptable. When that doesn’t work, suicide starts to look like a plan for escape. One is not thinking clearly about the after-effects at that point — just stopping the endless bleakness. This is no one’s ‘fault’ — not family’s or friends — I hope that Andrew’s people can believe that. The one real hope is education, awareness, and destigmatization of the need for treatment.
12/6/2009 11:06:04 AM
My heart goes out to Esmeralda and her family. There are no words that can ease the pain, but in speaking out about her loss, she is doing something wonderful in memory of her son. I understand the agony of losing a child to suicide, because I too lost my eldest son Kristian in November 2002 at the age of 20.
It is always so easy to beat ourselves up about what we should or shouldn’t have done, but the truth is that many people who are suffering from depression (particularly young men) hide their sadness so well and do not always feel able to talk to anyone about how they are feeling.
Since losing my son, I too have been determined to speak out about it, because only by doing this can we ever hope to erase the stigma that surrounds depression, mental illness and suicide.
Chasing Death: Losing a Child to Suicide. £1 from every book sold will be donated to Kidscape. http://www.chasingdeath.com
12/6/2009 10:25:44 AM
My thoughts and prayers are with Andrew and his family. Thank you for sharing Andrew’s story, so that others may be inspired to seek help. This beautiful family has endured more pain than most of us will in a lifetime. May they find the comfort and peace that they so deserve.
12/6/2009 9:58:57 AM
It is such a tragedy that folks as bright as Andrew, who suffer from depression or other mental health issues, frequently don’t seek medical help. Depression is a complicated physical illness that is treatable. Andrew’s family and friends are amazing in sharing his story so soon after his death. Hopefully their courage will enable others to seek the medical help that Andrew was unable to ask for. Increased awareness should help end the stigma that prevents so many from seeking help.
12/6/2009 7:21:22 AM
my deepest sympathies go out to the family and friends of this beautiful young man.
12/6/2009 5:44:07 AM
Toward the end of the article, his friend states that Andrew didn’t have anyone he could talk to. The saddest part is that he did, but just from within himself, didn’t feel comfortable making that leap from casual, friendly conversations into divulging what he was going through on a deeper, more personal level. It sounds like he had such kind and thoughtful people surrounding him. If anything, all those he movies and ghoulish things he went to, are very steeped in thought of dead, dying and the walking dead. I know it’s just a popular fad that is booming with young people right now, but it is too concentrated on being dead and the dead. maybe it has nothing to do with it, but all of that influence is fun for some, creepy for others but would be depressing for me.
I’m glad that his friends who feel a tie to what he was going through, seem to either be getting help or reaching out to others.
I hope his parents and others do well and find peace.