Today is Monday. It is the beginning of another week since Andrew died.
It is the beginning of another day, I wonder what to do now that the night is over and this new day has started.
The excitement and sense of purpose leading up to Andrew’s concert is over.
My cousin Renato has left, Nova has left; Andrew has not come back! Even in my dreams… a hug would be nice.
Sometime I remember that when I started this blog, it was for the purpose of cracking “the secret workings” of the Law of Attraction. Then my son died and I just kept writing, because I am one of those people who finds comfort and often meaning in writing. The search for the perfect word goes hand in hand for me with the intense examination and understanding of my inner landscape.
Being able to give a voice to the torment that goes on in my mind helps me bring it into the light of my heart, expose it to the love and peace that dwell there. And where I know that my beloved Alexander and Andrew also live.
So I say to my laptop: “Don’t you mess with me, all I want and expect from you is a working keyboard, and I leave all the fancy stuff that you can do to all the wizzkids that enjoy them. What I need is to be able to write.”
But, no matter who dies when or where, the sun still rises and sets every day.
Life goes on, and the Law of Attraction continues to govern the Universe.
(Please bear with me, I am going somewhere with this.)
For many years, first Andrew, and then one by one the whole family, wanted a MINI, but for one reason or another it’s never happened.
Sometime in October, (if you go back to the earlier postings you can see exactly when) I started a magic box, also known as an Alchemy Box. Whenever I saw the picture of something I wanted in a magazine I cut it out and put it in my magic box. Then when Andrew died I stopped all my Law of Attraction “practices.”
Anyway, the lease of our car ends in a few days, and last Friday on our way back from somewhere, my husband and I decided to stop at our local Mini dealer. We’d been there and to others before; but they never had the “deal” we were comfortable with; ie it was always too expensive for us to get a MINI.
So, we went in, and never having been one to beat about the bush, I explained that the lease of our current car, a Ford Focus, was coming up in a few days.
“What’s your best deal?” I asked.
“What do you mean by deal?”
“What can I lease for the least amount of money down and lowest monthly payments?”
I won’t go into the whole backward and forward conversation, but both my husband and I were very happy with the package that we were offered on the one model he had that he could do something with.
It was a 2010 model with cold weather package and other little useful goodies within our exact (limited) budget, and we did the deal there and then. We called the children as soon as we left the dealer, and they were all excited. When we were all home on Saturday afternoon, taking a break before the concert, I remembered my magic box and turning to my daughter I said:
“Hey, lets see if there is a Mini in my box.”
We got it out of my bedside cabinet, tipped everything out on my bed and…..not only was there a cut-out picture of a Mini, but it was the exact color as the one we are getting; pepper white with a black roof and British flag side view mirrors! Nice!
Now we are going over the various options for the personalized number plate. Well, you’ve guessed, it’ll be named after Andrew. But will it be his nickname Tigger, or his initials, or his first name and last name initials, or his nickname with the W-N initials after it, or…