The New York Times – Monday December 21

To read the article please click on the title-link below

After Son’s Suicide, Mother Again Channels Grief Into Action


November 8, 2009 at 4:42 am
I was studying in the library when President Sexton’s letter arrived in my e-mailbox informing us of Andrew. My heart broke for him and his family. Out of respect, I stopped what I was doing and left the library. How could I go on “business as usual”? It was not a usual day. My prayers will continue for all of you.


8 thoughts on “The New York Times – Monday December 21

  1. I read the article about you and your son today in the NY Times. I read about how you had already lost one child to SIDS, and I looked at the photo of you, and I thought, “How much grief is one mother expected to bear?”

    Please know that, at least for today, I would like to carry some of your grief around for you. I would like to take a little of the pain for away from the space around your heart, and allow you to maybe take a breath today.

    I would also like you to know how much I admire the strength it must take for you to raise awareness about SIDS and suicide in the wake of your sons’ deaths, and even to write this blog.

    Thinking of you…

    • I am touched by your sentiments. You can help by spreading the link of the this blog as far and as wide as you can. I don’t just intend to publicly document my journey, I am going to use the blog to keep the spotlight on the subject, to start looking at ways, old and new to address this issue.
      Thank you for your support and for your generous spirit.
      Love from
      Andrew’s mummy

  2. I’m very sorry for your loss. My father and mother both committed suicide within 6 years of each other. Neither parent left a note which I am still angry over. I just wanted to have some kind of affirmation that they loved my sister and me. I am always drawn to articles about suicide because even tho it is 40 and 34 years respectively since they died, the ache in my heart immediately permeates my thinking. I’m pleased you are involved in the solution rather than the problem.

    • And that is exactly it. The solution is what will get rid of the problem and that is what we are going to be looking for. Let’s go!
      Andrew’s Mummy

  3. Dear Esmeralda,

    This is in regards to the other article published in the journal news. I can truly say that Andrew’s death has forever changed me and continues to change me in ways I am only beginning to understand. However, if I can say one thing it is that in my heart, I can feel so strongly the hope and the light that you reference. Everyone to whom I speak with and share the story- I can see it them as well. From that hope and that light, I think that people are finding the strength to tell those around them how much they care for them and making a vow to be fully present in each other’s lives in a way that may not have been possible before. I think a whole new world is unfolding before us from the outpouring of that love and the strengthening of the bonds of family and friendship. It is a world that Andrew will always be an part of because he lives within all of the new memories and friendships that may never have been possible before. Your family means the world to me and I love you all dearly.

    In Peace,

    • Dear Nouf, it is when I read words like yours that I remind myself that the work, if not the pain, is worth it. Thank you for your encouragement.
      Andrew’s Mummy

  4. I was forwarded your blog-link to Andrew this morning. I know you are reading and I see you are writing. Your “about” was inspiring, your “now about” is sadly familiar. I wish I still had my son’s dirty cloths – might I suggest putting some in something airtight, a reminder of his smell. I do have Kerry’s wallet, sealed in a ziplock. its been 7 years, the scent is still there – if only in my mind. I’m here when you’re ready. I’m crying now, sadly, the pain is never far away. There is a lot to do, and you’ve jumped right in. Awareness is key. We all help in our own unique way every time we talk about or write about our children. Kerry asked that we tell his son the good things about him. I have made a promise to tell the world.

    Love and Light, Shannon
    mother of Kerry Ryan Magann “so they will know that you lived”

    • Maybe I’ll seal his socks. And I do wish they had a stronger “odor.” But you see everything about his person was as gentle as his advanced soul.

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