Anguish Over Andrew’s Dorm

Coral Towers

We have to empty Andrew’s dorm. Maybe today, tomorrow or the day after. It is a touchy subject for some reason.
Whenever we bring it up, or I should say whenever I bring it up, the faces around the table become tense.
We each have different ways of wanting to do this. When we talked about it a couple of days ago, we ended up crying, getting angry with each other and storming off in different directions.
I mostly write about my own journey, and it is mainly to me that people send messages of sympathy. But the truth is that it is not just me, it is us. Us, minus Andrew, are like the severely injured survivors of… an explosion. We look around and see that we are still alive. Our limbs are all but amputated, our insides are all but spilling out of the gaping holes in our stomachs and chests, but our hearts are still beating, we can feel everything. And it is we wounded four that crawl to each other to offer help, oozing blood along the way.
I look forward to reaching a place that I know exists, where my imagination will be restored to me and I will be able to imagine better days ahead.
Right now though, we have to get into, then past Andrew’s dorm.

If only we’d find you there Andrew, either today, tomorrow or the day after.

We love you Tigger.

2 thoughts on “Anguish Over Andrew’s Dorm

  1. My heart totally goes out to you and your family. I can’t even imagine what you are all feeling. A wrenching of your hearts and a void, so hard to fill. You have been in my thoughts constantly, all through the holidays and now.

    When I called you I couldn’t find the words to expess my feelings. I have three children and cannot even imagine loosing one of them. We did lose our first grandchild many years ago and my daughter felt that no one could know what she was going through, not even me. We cried and cried together for many hours and finally she realized that seeing her suffer plus losing my granddaughter was my way of knowing what she was feeling. She did seek help with her grief. She joined other people who had lost their children and it did help, plus, of course time.

    You and your family are in my prayers to stay strong. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

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