I don’t know about you, but I believe that our loved ones who are in Spirit, do communicate with us. They do try to let us know that they are still around.
The day after Andrew’s Memorial Concert at the Bitter End by Ippazzi, we were in the kitchen with my cousin who had come from Italy especially, when the bell rang. Florentina and I went to the door, but when we opened it, there was nobody there. We looked around, left, right and center but there was no one to be seen.
‘It must be Andrew,” no sooner had Florentina and I said that, than the bell rang five or six times before becoming silent again.
And it is a bittersweet thing, this kind of communication. On the one hand it is exciting and on the other, no matter what, all the looking around, all the reaching into the air, leaves one with empty hands, or, I should say, empty arms.
I had a reading recently. At the end of it, the woman told me how someone she knew who’d lost a child, had clear signs from her child, such as a white Dove sitting in the middle of the side-walk. On her way to work, the mother had to walk around it because the Dove wouldn’t move.
A few days later, on the son’s birthday, a white Dove appeared in the front garden and stayed there for hours. And lastly, this same white Dove, accompanied the father on a motorbike ride, flying next to him on the highway, at 55 MPH.
But I want to see my son, not white Doves, I thought. Nevertheless I am always looking at animals with an extra keen eye, particularly crows, because on Halloween, two days before he died, Andrew had dressed up as The Crow to go to a party.
And a dear friend of Andrew, more like a brother to him and a son to me, recounted how, a few days after Andrew died, he had looked out the window while doing the washing up in my kitchen, when he saw a crow sitting on the lawn staring right at him. After a few moments, the crow flew right toward the window and only before hitting the glass did he veer and fly off. Neither he, nor I when he told me, had any doubt that the crow had been Andrew.
I was so unbearably sad and down a few weeks ago, when a friend of Andrew from Drexel called me out of the blue, to tell me that she had seen Andrew. I won’t go into all the details right now, but suffice it to say, that my son had found a way through this girl to send me a loving message. 🙂
And finally, I was very sad yesterday. Every cell of my body filled with excruciating loss, my whole body vibrating in painful disbelief, it is not possible, he cannot be gone, he cannot have died. In that state, blinded by tears, I climbed into my car ( the beautiful pepper-white mini with the number plate ANDREW20.) As soon as I pushed the ignition button, a CD popped out of the CD player. It was a CD by Nightwish, Andrew’s favorite band. I knew that it was Andrew who’d done that.
And I know that it is Andrew who keeps watch over me at night, so that I don’t get scared while Hugh is away.
But look Andrew, why can’t you come in person, so that I can actually see you?
We miss you darling.