I had a very busy day yesterday, I was up and away at the crack of dawn and I did not have a chance to go near my computer until late last night. But when I did, I had a lovely surprise.
My wonderful sister in-law and beloved aunt of my children, had emailed me some precious pictures.
Working on Bruno again, has taken me back many years, to the time when Andrew and Florentina were little (Robert & Alexander were not even a twinkle in the eye then).
Since Andrew died, my mental pictures of him have been mainly of the past year, months and days before his death, and they are always preceded or followed by the picture of him dead at the hospital.
Like in a movie, I see myself taking small, fearful steps toward the cubicle where Andrew lay. In slow motion I see myself go in with lowered eyes, afraid to look. Daring to glance up a bit, I see his feet (covered by a white sheet) I crash over them, howls of primordial pain rack my body.
I steal a glance towards Andrew’s face. It is him, it is really him lying dead, it is my son.
Occasionally I’ve had fleeting images of little Andrew, but with Bruno active in my mind again, I’ve been remembering and seeing more and more of my young children.
I remembered a special set of pictures of young Andrew but could not find them.
But, abracadabra, when I checked my emails last night, there they were.
And here they are.
Thank you Aunt Nushk. You are the best Aunt any niece, nephew or, teddy bear could wish for.
Lots of love from Andrew, Florentina, Bruno, Robert and Alexander.
You are the best sister and sister in-law in the whole wide world.
Love from Your brother Hugh, and from me,
IF YOU ARE FEELING SUICIDAL OR NEED TO TALK CALL THE NATIONAL LIFELINE