My Own Show



Hello everybody, I am back.

Having got up at five, I got to the airport bright and early last Friday morning, ready for my 7 o’clock flight.
The flight was overbooked however, and I gladly accepted a $300 voucher towards a flight some other time, and left on the 3:15 flight instead. Destination, Atlanta.

Following the path to the plane marked by large-painted footsteps, for a moment I felt the same sense of “destiny” that I felt when I went to “The Hill” last March, to lobby Congress.

Strange I thought, because where I am going now, and what I am doing now are two completely different things.
Or are they? Seemingly, perhaps.

Okay, no more suspense.

I flew to Atlanta to audition for the new Oprah show: Own your Own Show.
I pitched a show called, guess what:
Get Your Wellness On

One of the first things I learned since Andrew died, is the difficulty getting the subject of suicide out in the open. So much so that as you know I have an ongoing petition to the media.

So, when this opportunity to audition to have a show on Oprah’s new network was announced, I thought:
“I’ll go for it.”
Imagine having my own show, I told myself. I’ll be able to be heard, but not only that, I’ll be able to give people like me, the chance to be heard. I’ll give people the opportunity to address issues that are normally swept under the rug. My show will be a venue for people to share their challenging experiences and explore different paths to wellness.
I also thought that such a show would also give me the opportunity to do something dear to my heart:
increase our personal and collective Wellness Footprint.

I spent the past month prior to the audition, filling out the 16-page-long application form, working on developing the show and the show’s format. My husband and children, my children’s friends and a couple of close trusted friends, were all consulted. I wrote the pitch, memorized it and rehearsed everyday in front of a mirror and in front of my family and friends.
I timed myself so that I would keep the presentation within 90 seconds, which is how long I believed they allowed for each audition.

Skipping ahead.

I am in Roswell, Atlanta, with a couple of thousands of other hopefuls from all over The States.
All the time that I am in line to get my numbered wristband, I rehearse in my head and I have butterflies in my stomach. While waiting, people coming out of their audition tell everyone that the audition time is 30 seconds, not 90.
Right! I won’t say my long name or where I’m from, that should save me… eight seconds? I’ll take out this line and that line. I took out all the bells and whistles and left the absolute bare bones.
Anyway, I tell myself. It’s all in the delivery. I’ll give it my best shot and that’s all there is to it.

And I did. I said my name while handing my application form to the casting director, and launched straight into my presentation:

So, what is Wellness?
Is it Physical, is it Financial? Emotional, environmental?
We shop until we drop, we eat until we pop. Whatever it is, we spend out lives in the pursuit of wellness.

Blah, blah, blah and it was over!

I did very well and now I am in the pool of candidates!

I am so excited. I hope I win all the way to actually having my own show.
But in any case, I have met some wonderful people and made some new friends. I have given myself permission to pursue a dream despite my broken heart, and despite the fact that I am no longer twenty years-old or as slim and pretty as I was then.
My whole family was excited and thrilled and we all had a chance to laugh, dream and work together on a project.
And that is what I have always loved about my family.
We do things together, we sit and eat together, we share books, often we sit in the same room to read our books together.
I remember Andrew saying: Mummy shall we sit by the fire and read?
And why not? How wonderful togetherness is!

Talking of books, one of my new friends is a wonderful young woman reporter and writer.
Her name is Sharon Sobotta, she has written a wonderful book called: THE JOURNEY OF LIFE.
In the course of our conversation, Sharon told me that her father attempted suicide three times and that she will help spread the petition.
She interviewed me and she will pitch her piece to the various magazines that she writes for.

Okay, I have a lot of catching up to do, for a start, a pile of laundry is waiting for me. I also need to cook my husband and children a nice meal.

See you soon,

9 thoughts on “My Own Show

  1. This is wonderful! We need a voice and you are perfect ! You are our very own soldier..our leading general. Well Done!!

  2. “My dearest friend, I can’t wait to see you in NY. My God you are so absolutely
    amazing, I am so proud of you and the things that you do to help others, even
    with a broken heart. I am very confident you will do well. I love you. ”

  3. From Laura

    “…Oh Esmeralda I am sooo happy to hear! Do you have any idea how proud I am of you?!

    I am so so so glad you went and did this, for yourself, for Andrew, for your family, for everyone who may benefit.

    I am rooting for you. Keep us posted. And you’re right – no matter what – you have put the energy out there, something will happen :)…”

    Besos mil!

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