Andrew died ten month ago yesterday. In two months Andrew will have been dead one year.
I don’t know what it is, but the thought of this one year thing is… awful!
Even though Andrew is already dead, I feel that as the first year anniversary (what a weird word for something like this) approaches, time is running out for Andrew, and for me, again.
To be able to turn around in time and see, and say, that this time last year Andrew was still with us is as though some of Andrew’s life has not been extinguished.
Am I crazy? Andrew is dead isn’t he? How much more dead can he be in two months time?
He is still vivid in my mind, but will he, as time passes, fade from inside me too? Will memories of him, like old photographs, lose sharpness and details?
I can’t bear it! I beg you, time, don’t do this to my memories of my son, it’s all I’ve got!
It is so hard without you. Please come back my darling, please come back.