I Dreamed Of Andrew

"Andrew, Robert and I - June 2005"

Andrew, Robert and I - June 2005

In my dream last night, "Andrew" was wearing the same sweater as in the picture and the hair was the same too

In my dream last night, Andrew was wearing the same sweater as in the picture and the hair was the same too

I dreamed of Andrew last night!

He bounded up to me and hugged me.

“Oh Andrew!”

A beautiful smile spread over his face. I wanted more hugs, more, more, more hugs. He laughed and hugged, and hugged and hugged me.

I am his mother, but at a bit over six feet tall, Andrew towers over me, and when he hugs me he has to bend over.
It rekindled our ongoing … I am not sure what to call it, but this is what it is about.

First I was taller than Andrew (of course), as time went by Andrew became as tall as me and then, little by little he grew taller. As soon as he “overtook” me he started to boast that he was taller than me.
But I never conceded. Year after year I stood my ground (I was closer to it I suppose), I never acknowledged that he was taller than me.
Over time Andrew took to patting my head, “Oh… little mumsy,” he would say cheekily. And we would both laugh.
“Mummyyyy,” he would say occasionally. “Why don’t you admit it? I am taller than you?”

“Since when?” I would invariably reply.

No words were spoken in the dream, yet that was the amused banter between us.

Then the phone rung, I answered, it was Hugh.
“Speak, it’s Daddy,” I said, holding the phone close to his mouth. He laughed.
“Hello Daddy.” I could hear Hugh’s disbelief first, then unbounded joy and relief. Andrew continued to smile his happiness and I mine.

And then I woke up.

Andrew that was so nice, please let’s do it again.
Lots and lots of love from your little Mumsy

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “I Dreamed Of Andrew

  1. Oh, how wonderful….aren’t those hugs the absolute best? I keep praying nightly for another one..its been too long. He is there with you, E. Your beautiful son hasnt left. Its hard wrapping my head around that sometimes, but I know its true. Doesn’t mean I wouldnt rather have them back here. Some days are just so hard. Gotta be brave, I tell myself.
    enjoy your day, and the feeling of peace those hugs give you. they are truly a blessing. Hugs to you.

  2. That is a very real encounter where the two of you were able to see each other on another plane of reality. I’m so happy for you!

    • Thank you. He was as gorgeous as ever. I love looking at him, I never get tired. I always love looking at my children. Love, E

  3. That’s a great story about him outgrowing you.
    Our kids all marked their heights as they grew on a Kauri timber upright in our house. I can trace the progress over the years.
    I have some good photos of a young Bruno trying to escape being tickled, but he didnt enjoy hugs once he got into his 20s.
    I would love to dream about him hugging me, but I think you have to have the actual memories to do it.
    hugs
    Dave

    • We used to mark their heights against the study door of the house we sold last year. They would stand against it, and with a pencil we would draw a line, then write date and child’s name.
      Dave, I think that for you to dream about Bruno, you would need to know/believe that his soul continues to exist, that only his body is gone.
      You may well ask me why, then, if that is what I believe, I feel the sorrow that I feel. Because I would still rather have him here, feed him good Italian food, look at him sitting at the table across me. Walk into his room and see him sleep and more…
      But Dear Dave, I also know that I will see him again, it’s the wait that’s killing me. Love, Esmeralda

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s