When these pictures were taken, one year ago today, I had NO idea that eleven days later, Andrew would be dead.
I had no idea that after this day, I would only see my son alive one more time.
These days I have no patience posing for pictures, and to my bitter regret, there are no pictures of Andrew and me taken that evening, that I know of.
But any of you looking at these pictures, do you see anything I didn’t see?
Oh my Darling Andrew!
When you were little I kept you from putting your fingers inside electrical outlets.
I kept you from burning your hand in the fire.
I kept you away from knives.
I held your hand firmly when crossing the road.
I never let you go near windows on your own.
I did everything to keep you safe when you were little.
When you decided to jump in that wretched library, did you think it through?
Did you think beyond getting over the barrier?
Did you not realize, that once you let go, you’d crash down and smash your body on the marble floor below?
Did you think that you could just pick yourself up and walk away limping?
What were you thinking my love? What were you thinking, my sweet, irreplaceable child?
How could have I been sleeping when you were dying?
Oh Dear Lord…