The Last Day With Amma

"Amma" Receives Doctorate - Buffalo, New York, May 2010

Amma Receives Doctorate - Buffalo, New York, May 2010

I am still in Michigan with Amma and all the Wellness that comes from being with her.

Not for much longer though, for today is the last day, tomorrow afternoon I fly back home.
I mean, going home is nice, but leaving this enchanted place behind, is hard.
And I don’t mean the physical place.
I mean that special place of being that comes for me from being with Amma.

Daily acupuncture treatments with Dr. Weng and the company of many like-minded people have also helped and sustained me on my road to healing.
People tell me that I look better and I do feel better.
The sadness, shock and disbelief of Andrew’s death are still there, but at the moment I feel more like a witness rather than being drowned in them.

And yes, I do know that grief has its own personality, needs and traits, and I can’t take it for granted that I’ll always feel the way I do know. But right now I do, and for that I am grateful.

My heartfelt prayer for my fellow survivors is that they do not get stuck in the clutches of complicated grief, and that they too travel along the road of recovery and healing.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti – Om Peace, Peace, Peace


PS. I attach President Obama’s Survivors of suicide Day Message, 2010


4 thoughts on “The Last Day With Amma

  1. The peace you’re feeling is coming through your writing… šŸ™‚

    While you know it will not remain so when you leave your temporary sanctuary, treasure the feelings and try to bring them with you and let your memories bathe your future moments with peace…

    By writing this it reminds me to do the same. I have a few sanctuaries or havens where I have experienced soul-satisfying peace. If I cannot go there physically, I can still go there mentally and revisit that safety, calmness, serenity, peace…I must remember to do that when it’s hard to remember to do that šŸ˜‰

    Peace, my Friend

  2. Oh, on a random unrelated note…I have been reading another blog that did a series on Depression. The blog actually has many permanent writers and some guests. Of the permanent writers, one of the writers facilitated a “discussion” of sorts by presenting the Topic (I.e. Depression and Spirituality) and then the other 9 or so participating bloggers who chose to use pseudonyms contributed their thoughts in writing in an interactive thread format. I couldn’t stop reading. I realized 2 things–1) I’ve experienced forms/ symptoms of depression similar to what I was reading and 2) that my son died of depression. I have in the past said died by suicide but after reading this blog series and reflecting on it and writings and experiences of my son, I now know he died of depression.

    Interesting, how we say so and so “died of” ( fill in the blank ) a heart attack, cancer, old age, etc…name the cause / disease / illness. Well, my son died of depression…

  3. Dear Esmeralda/KukunaoKala~
    Would you mind sharing the link or email address of the blog about depression/spirituality,I am very interested in reading that discussion~as I know now also that my son was suffering from depression/a broken heart,but because he never stop doing the things he loved,or seeing friends,his depression was not considered “life threatening”~but it was,and he is gone now.My e-mail address is Thank you

  4. Lisa Marie,

    Here is the link:

    Lisa Marie, I am saddened to know of another mother’s son who has died of depression. My heart grieves anew whenever I learn of another mother’s loss.Ā 

    I am an LDS (Mormon) Christian. I am more than happy to share the blog link. I honor and respect all persons spiritual beliefs. Because the blog is written by LDS Christian writers that spiritual perspective is interwoven throughout. Nevertheless, you may find something of value too. Ā 

    Peace … And aloha~

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