Mark Madoff Suicide

“Come and read this,” my husband called out to me from his desk on Saturday morning.
“What is it?”
“Come and see,” he insisted.
I walked over to him and he pointed to the computer screen, Mark Madoff, the headline read, had died of suicide that morning.

I felt sick, sick, sick. I don’t want anyone to die of suicide.
I am so sorry for his family, his wife, children, siblings, parents, yes parents!

Here’s the link to what I wrote that morning for the Huffington Post

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/esmeralda-williamsonnoble/madoff-my-son-nuy_b_795383.html

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7 thoughts on “Mark Madoff Suicide

  1. I read Esmerelda’s comments and identified, having pretty much the same reaction at the terrible news of Mark Madoff’s taking his own life. Some time ago I read a piece, I think in the Smithsonian, outlining the startling data about suicide being very much an impulsive act. Take away the opportunity and you very well might prevent the act. This goes against common wisdom which says basically “where there is the will a way will be found.” The article detailed a real story about a place where there were two bridges, both used for suicide. One was very difficult to access, the other relatively easy. When the easily accessable bridge was torn down, leaving only the hard to access bridge, the number of suicides reduced dramatically. But back to the very tragic and very very sad story of Mark Madoff’s passing. We are all the poorer, we are all diminished by the manner of this man’s death. Was he a good man? Was he not such a good man? These questions are absolutely irrelevant. What is relevant was that a man felt so very overwhelmed, so very hopeless, desperate and alone that he did the unthinkable. Yes there was a terrible storm to be weathered. Unthinkable loss to be borne but what I and many others could have told him….that as wildly unbelievable as it would have seemed, if he could only have held on, joy and happiness would once more have been his.

    James Howe

    • Oh James… indeed, indeed. Your words are resonating so deeply within my being and express exactly what I feel, for him, for my son, for the thousands who take their lives every year… it may not seem possible, likely… but the son does come out again, laughter will burst out of you, joy will seize your being and sorrow too, but that’ what this world is about, duality. Jamie, I would love to know more about you. Best, Esmeralda

    • Well said James. Accessibility and impulsivity are characteristics of suicide. However, that being said, what’s so frustrating and disconcerting is that’s not the case for all deaths by suicide as you also alluded to. Often people have been having thoughts of suicide and have been weighing pros and cons for a while before coming to their decision. It’s in this time frame, if another notices the nonverbal and sometimes verbal “signs” that a suicide crisis can be averted and a life saved. Or if the individual himself understood that considering death is not shameful or out of the ordinary and understood that he is experiencing a suicide crisis and should seek emergency help quick, he might live through the crisis.

      Thank you for your eloquent thoughts about the dignity and value of every person.

  2. One more thing. I just read that some men experiencing depression with thoughts of suicide often do the math. Sadly, if they figure that they are worth more dead than alive that will influence their decision. This random piece of information just jolted me. That any man may not see his worth as a son, brother, father, friend, etc. but evaluates his life in terms of how much money am I worth. This is especially painful for men as depression impacts their capacity to work.

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