I’ve just made up my mind that I am going to go out today!
This resolve, likely nothing much for most people, feels like a reprieve to me.
Other than when I opened the door as far as it would open, which wasn’t much, the day after the blizzard, my nose has not been out of these four walls since Christmas Eve. Hold on a minute, when was that?
Hm… All I can say is that it seems like a long time ago, and between then and now, I have been shrouded in a heavy blanket of fog. Even moving my ass from my bed to the sofa and back again, has been a struggle.
And then last night, as I howled for relief (I was on my own), the same scary sound coming out of me as when I first saw Andrew dead, the phone rang. It was my dear friend Anita, Andrew’s Godmother, calling from Holland.
Thank you to whatever God may be, for hearing me!
When I put the phone down an hour later, my mood had shifted enough for me to find my way out of the fog.
Thank you Dearest Anita. Thank you.
So, before I feel the pull coming my bed and the drowsiness that follows, Ladies and Gentlemen, let me get the hell out of here.