The 2nd Andrew Williamson-Noble Spirit Award

Today is Fencing Super Saturday here, in my neck of the woods.

The second Andrew Williamson-Noble Spirit Awards will be announced early this afternoon. We will be there.

Looking back a year I can see how much better I feel today. This day last year I was running on tears and the skin around my eyes was affected. But although this particular fuel is always bubbling and churning below the surface and apt to erupt whenever it feels like, I do believe that I am altogether in a better place now. Although…
Take early this morning for instance, after a restless night of tossing and turning (routine, every night stuff unfortunately) I decided to call it a… night and got up just after five
.
In the darkened bathroom for an early morning… p… I found myself, in my mind, on the phone hearing my daughter’s cries… Andrew… Andrew is… Andrew is… Eventually the unholy news.

My whole being recoils, trembles, shivers.
From the depth of the Earth the rumble of a mighty NNNOOOO shakes my body and erupts from my lips. It is still rumbling, shaking, churning… that primal no because… my body has been screaming ever since, but it has never escaped my lips… if that happens, I know that it will fracture my jaws, tear my vocal cords and make the walls around me, crumble.

Still, I believe I am better today than I was this time, a year ago.

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