I Am Haloless – Non Ho L’Aureola

Andrew would have graduated today.

June 2007 - Andrew's "High School Graduation"

June 2007 - Andrew's High School Graduation

After long years of study, his work would have paid off, today.

It has been raining heavily for several days and today is no exception.

The grounds at Yankee stadium, where the graduation, or commencement as it is called, will take place, must be soaking wet, like my nightdress is wet with tears.
Had I been going to the graduation, I would have been on my way by now. Andrew with all the other students from NYU’s University Place, would be on his way, and at some point, along the way, he would have cheered with his fellow students at the MTA’s congratulatory message broadcasted over the train’s sound system.

But he is not on that train, and I am not on my way to Yankee Stadium.

No, I am at home instead, crying. And because I am not a Saint, (and the lack of a Halo around my head proves it),

The "Halo" I Don't Have

The Halo I Don't Have


I am unwilling and unable to find it in my heart to be sorry for the rotten weather that the class of 2011 is getting on their
long-awaited graduation day.

I am miserable, I am angry, and I am not going to say congratulations to anyone. I don’t want to!
No, not without my Andrew being there. But he is here instead, in my heart, in my mind, in every cell of my body.

Andrew my love, you may not graduate from NYU today, but you are graduating at some other level.
And, Andrew? Thank you for always being by my side AND for letting me know that you are there, like you did last night, when you came into my dreams.

Dear friends,

I am sorry I haven’t posted since mother’s day.

I took a level one Reiki class. I can give Reiki now, I am SO pleased.
I leave on Friday, Sicily bound for the retreat, “Mediterranean Connection”, that starts on Sunday.
That, and developments on the Bruno front, have kept me busy and with my mind unable to think about my beloved blog.

By the way, I arrive in Palermo on Saturday, May 21st, Andrew’s birthday.

I will write again when I can. I will let you know how the retreat is going or went, and will tell you all about Bruno as soon as I can.

Love,

Esmeralda

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6 thoughts on “I Am Haloless – Non Ho L’Aureola

  1. Odd coincidence…both our sons born in May and died in November.

    Thought about you just last night and how odd not to be reading your blog. Thought you must be busy planning your retreat to Sicily.

    Can’t wait to own a copy of your soon to be published Bruno (because it will be!)

    Also felt that sorrow of knowing “Not my son” when I learned from a Facebook post one of his classmates just completed his Master’s. :*(

    Savor your retreat to Sicily and time with Bruno.

    Still here~ aloha

    • I was thinking about you too. Bruno… might be more than a book. Thank you dearest friend for your confidence and encouraging words about my writing.
      I would like to “post” your first post on the blog tomorrow, can I? and how do I do it? Shall I copy and paste it?
      I also want to put you on my blog roll if I can figure out how to do it before I go. Hugs, Esmeralda

      • You could probaby copy & paste the blog content and include the URL address, as you said.

        That’s as much advice as my blogging / Internet skills permit!!

        I am pages away from completing my Master’s project / paper.
        I competed in the Mile Run track and field event in high school,
        which is an endurance run. The experience of striving to finish this “race” has called upon reservoirs of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual strength I never anticipated needing.

        Seems like just a short while ago I wished you a Bon voyage and here you’re off again! Hope this trip is less “eventful” as far as Airport Experiences. πŸ˜‰
        Ciao!

      • I’ll be traveling with Dr. Weng and Lisa, do you remember them? (I am sure you must we went up to the library together, Lisa is blond and she is a healer)
        We are traveling, listen to this, via Iceland, stopping in Rekjavyck (however it is spelled) then on to London. Change flights one more time and then on to Palermo, does this sound like a straightforward journey to you ? πŸ™‚
        I am very proud of you, a mile run?!, I could manage a hundred yard jog, maybe… well done!
        Oh, by the way, I am taking my hoopnotica, collapsible hula hoop with me.
        And ciao to you too. πŸ˜‰

  2. Good Luck Esmeralda in Italy. Keep us posted. I am curious to see the comparisons/differences between Sicily and Union Square! Enjoy, have fun and as usual, I think you are amazing at accomplishing what you set out to do!

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