November Third Is Coming Up

"Andrew E. K. Williamson- Noble" - This photo was splashed across every newspaper at the time

Andrew E. K. Williamson- Noble - This photo was splashed across every newspaper at the time

November third is coming up!

How can it be almost two years since that dreadful, life destroying morning when Andrew breached Bobst’s non-existent security, and leapt to his death from the tenth floor of that wretched library?

That cold, eery, spooky, hungry library!

“If there were no witnesses, how do you know that my son jumped from the tenth floor?” I asked the police sergeant in charge a few days later, when we went to collect Andrew’s belongings.

“We went to the spot and we found evidence, scuff marks …” he answered, as though stating the obvious.

“The spot? What spot?” asked our friend David, who had accompanied us.

“Where the previous students jumped from,” he answered (I can’t swear that those were his very words, but I know I am not too far off if they weren’t)

So, there is “A Spot” at Bobst, NYU’s Iconic Library, that … I will leave the rest unsaid, for now.

Yes, in less than two weeks it will be two years since that day. TWO YEARS!

How is it then, that I feel as I did that morning when I first entered the non descript cubicle where my son lay dead? DEAD !?!?!

There he was, my beloved, adored, beautiful, special fruit of my womb, D E A D,
while, like a river eternally flowing, the world around me didn’t skip a beat, not even one, and went on living.
So much so, that not even having to clean the blood as there was none, NYU’s student ambassadors, were instructed to keep to their schedule of guided tours and NOT to mention what had happened earlier that morning.

Okay, I am going to stop here and not dip into my inexhaustible arsenal of:

You Fucking Mother Fuckers, you …effing …

I love you Andrew, no matter what!

10 thoughts on “November Third Is Coming Up

  1. Wow, how insensitive to continue the tours as if nothing had occurred?!

    What a non-compassionate message to send to the student body and potential students! A student of our school community took his life this morning. We’re going to ignore the tragedy, pretend it didn’t happen, keep silent, and conduct business as usual.

    In other words–this student’s suicide is a smudge that tarnishes our school’s image and reputation. We need to hush it up as quickly as possible and perpetuate the silence and stigma of suicide.

    Instead, the school ambassadors could have acknowledged the reality of depression and suicide among college age students and shared the school policy of concern and support for the well-being of all students accepted into their academic programs and provided informative brochures from the NYU student counseling offices describing how students experiencing depression and / or thoughts of suicide could receive appropriate support and assistance.

    That is our work, Esmeralda…Young people, indeed anyone, experiencing depression and / or thoughts of suicide must know there is help. And our families and communities need to know how to help and truly have the resources and means to help.

    I love you! I love Andrew. I love your beautiful family. I am sorry for your loss of and longing for Andrew and your grief and sorrow.

    Please take care of yourself and one another as you grieve through the upcoming difficult days.


    • I love YOU dear friend. How WELL you express how NYU should have responded. Thank you for that, because I didn’t know how to put it. I, who love words, who love writing, did not know hoe to articulate what you did. I would love you to send this message to President Sexton, what do you think? I have his email, or I can send it myself.
      You too must care of yourself. And yes, WE indeed have a job to do. BIG HUG, your friend Esmeralda

      • Esmeralda, feel free to use the ideas I wrote and share them with the NYU leadership. I’m sure the ideas not “mine” but a synthesis of the research I’ve been doing around school policy and procedures to address suicide awareness, prevention, intervention, and postvention.


      • Thank you Kukunaokala, I will. Your skills of synthesis are special, I don’t have them. My brain works differently, and that’s why it’s good when people work together, each offering their unique skills.
        Un abbraccio

  2. Gday Esmeralda,

    These anniversaries are pretty awful. We are coming up to 5 years but the countdown is the same every year. I’m afraid itll be there for ever. But other things do change eh? I am very heartened by the youth occupations. If there is anything that will stop them killing themselves its the power they get from standing up to the system. I remember you reporting on your conversations with Andrew about social justice. I think our dead children are martyrs to the ‘system’ so roll on from Generation Zero to Generation Revo!

    Dave (supporter of Occupation Everywhere)

    • Our one and only Dave! I’ve missed you. Peaceful protest, yes, the time for change has come. It really has.
      Big hugs to you too. Esmeralda – Andrew’s Mummy no matter what!

  3. I wish you lived closer to me Esmeralda so I can give you a hug.
    This month was our son’s second death anniversary. Very sad time for us. We miss him sorely.

    • So … we are in the same boat … I wish we lived closer to each other too so I could give you a hug!!!
      Why don’t you write something about your son and we’ll put it up? We’d love to hear your/his story.
      Take care sweetheart and here’s a BIG virtual hug
      Esmeralda & Andrew

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