How I Managed To Stay On My Yoga Mat

My daughter and I

My daughter and I


I know that this picture has nothing to do with yoga per se, but I like it!

I first saw the following letter configuration “S T F U,” on a post on this very blog by my friend Mark.

No, no, Mark was not saying it to me. He was actually addressing this STFU to the cyber trolls that pollute the internet by writing offensive (offensive if one takes the least bit of notice which I no longer do) things on other people’s blog like mine, anonymously. And the reason why Mark told them to STFU, is that they were having a ball making fun of my son’s death by suicide.

Not knowing what STFU meant at the time, I asked around, and, grief-stricken though I was, I burst out laughing when one of my children’s friend explained to me that it meant:

Shut The Fuck Up (oops is it okay to spell it out?)

Anyway why am I saying all this? Oh yes, as I mentioned a couple of days ago, after a… shortish (long) leave of absence, I’ve gone back to yoga.

Now, the thing with me and yoga is, that as much as I love it, when I am on the mat at the beginning of class, all I want to do is pick up my mat and leave!
There is this… this other person inside me that really puts up a fight at the least bit suggestion of exercise.
This morning this person kept saying that she felt queasy, then she felt that she had the runs. She kept complaining that she didn’t feel well enough, and that as I would end up leaving anyway on account of feeling queasy and possibly having the runs ect. ect. I might as well pick up my mat and go now. Now, before the class started, so I wouldn’t disturb the other yogis and yogini, in their triangle poses… or something.
But I struggled on, doing my best to ignore this disruptive little devil inside of me, and remain on my yoga mat, but it was hard.
That’s when I remembered the afore-mentioned little letter formation: STFU!

“Shut the fuck up!” I immediately told the insurrectionist inside my brain.

And it worked.

From that moment on the insurrectionist gave me no further trouble, and I was able to focus on the present moment without further distractions.
Of course, come the end of the class, I ALWAYS feel SO GOOD about myself.

And now time for a nice salad.
Buon Appetito everyone

Esmeralda

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