Andrew & Alexander

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"Windflowers"

Windflowers

My Beautiful baby son Alexander when he was only a few weeks old. When he "died of SIDS" he was seven and half months old

My Beautiful baby son Alexander when he was only a few weeks old. When he died of SIDS he was seven and half months old

I’ve haven’t spoken much here about Alexander, my beautiful little boy who died at seven and a half months of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. He was Robert’s older twin by one minute, the third of my children.
It is “illogical,” but it feels really bad to say that I’ve lost TWO children. There is a part of me that feels shame, guilt, horror… I am a mother who lost two children… I can’t be a very good mother…
Do you see?

Okay, now I’ve said it, and I still feel bad!

Anyway, in 1997 I started the Windflower ball in Alexander’s memory to raise funds for research into the causes of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Windflowers are short-lived, like babies who die before reaching their first birthday, that’s why I chose that name.
Then, in 2004 I joined forces with a National organization called First Candle, and after a few years of the “joining”, in 2010, the ball’s name was changed to First Candle Charity Ball.

when Andrew was still with us

when Andrew was still with us

Windflower Ball – October 24th, 2009 Tribeca roof-top –
Andrew is with his younger brother (Alexander’s twin) and other friends – – It was the last ball that Andrew would attend, for he took his life nine days later by jumping from the tenths floor of Bobst, NYU’s main library.

But to end on a more festive note, let me mention that the next First Candle Ball will be held on Nov. 21, at the Emerson Ballroom.

Esmeralda

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3 thoughts on “Andrew & Alexander

  1. It is illogical! Yet I think I would think similarly, so I understand.

    But I know these boys have a mother whose love transcends mortality.

    …both are beautiful wildflowers.

  2. Dearest Friend! I know you understand. Did I ever tell you that for me you are a pillar of strength? How can I explain… I just know you ARE there, I feel the solidarity. Thank you! and lots of love 🙂

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