Scaling My Inner El Capitan

It had been so long since I last posted, that I had trouble logging in just now.

So, what kept me silent for so long? Honestly? I didn’t feel like writing.
But now I do.

I won’t go into all the details at the moment, but after months of sinus trouble I had surgery last December. The sinus troublemaker was a tumor. I was shocked.

This is what it looked like.

Close Up Picture of a Tumor

Close Up of a Tumor

Yikes, right?

Ever since Andrew died I’ve felt at peace with my own mortality. It’s been almost something I look forward to actually.
A comfort to know there is a route available to him and Alexander. One day. When my work here is done.
But last December, when my ENT gave me the news about the tumor; was not that day.

Anyway, as far as my physical health is concerned; I am in very good hands.
“We’ll grow old together,” Dr. Govindaraj reassured me.

But here is what’s come out of all this.
I’ve put my social activism on hold for the time being.

You remember our gorgeous Elf Princess, Jacqui Becker, right?
Well, her boyfriend, Kevin Jorgeson and his partner Tommy Caldwell, made history this week!
They went and climbed Yosemite National Park’s Dawn Wall all the way up to the top of El Capitan, didn’t they?
(When I’m back in business I hope we can count on you guys to help with our suicide awareness and prevention efforts.)
While I have no tools nor skills for that kind of feat, I want to scale my inner mountains.
So, this is what you’ll you find me doing in Rishikesh for the next few months.
The big, beautiful Himalayas in the background, and my own El Capitan in the foreground.

Wish me luck. For for every one of us who reaches the top, a bigger and bigger trail is made for those who want to follow.

Esmeralda

June 2014 - Me at Villa Trabia, Palermo

June 2014 Get Your Wellness On – Me at Villa Trabia, Palermo, Sicily

Jan. 15, 2015 - My New Hair Cut

NY, Jan. 15, 2015 – My New Hair Cut

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3 thoughts on “Scaling My Inner El Capitan

  1. Eww on that tumor! Glad they got that gnarly thing out. Brave, cool haircut. And regarding taking a break . . . I think we all have to take breaks from the things we do: to avoid burnout, reinvent how we do things, recharge, reassess, heal, etc. I think Jorgenson’s struggle 5 days before reaching the summit (when he couldn’t get past a difficult half-way point) is a metaphor for life: excitement, a goal, discouragement, reassessment, rest, healing, reinventing how you do things, change, and moving on. I love that the beautiful and talented Jacqui has crossed our paths and somehow has made us intimately excited about a sacred place like Yosemite as we share the joy of her partner’s amazing accomplishment. In the end, it’s Andrew’s spirit and the warriors before and after him that brought us all together. Hugs Deb

    > On Jan 17,

    > 2015,

  2. Debra, Kukunakoala!
    Everything about this journey called life is amazing if we have eyes to see. How beautifully you painted the whole thing Debra. How true well you place the metaphor of those five days of Kevin Jorgeson. The forty days in Desert come in many ways. We each have our own.
    Words cannot express how grateful I am for having come together. One day, when we all meet in Heaven where words are not needed, I’ll be able to tell you. For now I hold you in my heart, linked as we are, by those we love.
    Come and see me in the Himalayas, I’m sure we can do a thing or two together up there 🙂
    Tons of love,
    Esmeralda

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